“The Courage to Be Disliked draws on the philosophy of Alfred Adler to present a way to pursue happiness through purposivism, which emphasizes individual interpretation and personal growth, as opposed to the causalist views of Freud and Jung. It emphasizes that overcoming feelings of inferiority and need for approval through self-acceptance and separation of tasks, living in the moment and realizing a sense of community is the path to true happiness.

Understanding Objectivism: It’s a Different Starting Point than Causalism!

The best feature of this book is that it reflects the philosophy of a somewhat unfamiliar name: Alfred Adler. The story of the book begins with a young man who visits an old man in search of the meaning of happiness, and the old man begins to teach him Adler’s philosophy. Alfred Adler is considered one of the three great psychologists alongside Sigmund Freud and Carl Gustav Jung, but he is being revisited because he founded the field of transpersonal psychology, which is completely different from their psychoanalysis. In the book, the old man points out to the young man that Freud’s traumatic perspective, which is based on force majeure causes, reveals the inability of human free will to resist them, and furthermore, carries the risk of falling into nihilism. On the other hand, Adler’s teleology gives the present multiple interpretive possibilities, even when dealing with the same causal facts. This perspective departs from the traditional view by allowing individuals the freedom to design their own lives according to their interpretive perspective, and by allowing human values to be respected.
The claim that it is up to the individual’s interpretation may not be viewed positively, as it is open to arbitrary interpretation. Indeed, several speakers in the class criticized the idea that adherence to purposivism alone can lead to self-justification of a given situation. However, this criticism is somewhat unfair for two reasons. First, the core of Adler’s philosophy does not lie in its arbitrariness, which can be interpreted in any direction, but rather in the fact that it actively gives a certain direction to interpretation. He does not merely talk about escaping from inferiority complexes and the need for recognition, which can be seen as self-satisfaction. Rather, the emphasis is on what he calls the meaning of happiness, a process of moving toward trust in others. Secondly, Adler’s philosophy seeks a value that is superior to self-gratification. He argued that the goal of happiness is the realization of a sense of community, a sense of contribution, which in turn creates multiple levels of trust in others. Whereas the need for approval is solely dependent on the person in front of you, Adler’s sense of contribution is more intrinsically superior in that it benefits everyone, even if you don’t know them specifically.

Key concept: Self-acceptance and task separation

In the book, the young man visits the old man because he is unhappy, and their conversation begins by identifying the causes of unhappiness. They identify relationships as the biggest cause of unhappiness, specifically the manifestation of inferiority and the unfulfilled need for recognition. The old man suggests that by freeing oneself from these feelings of inferiority and need for recognition, one can eliminate the causes of unhappiness and become happy, which Adler calls self-acceptance and separation of tasks, respectively. He went on to say that recognition by others cannot be one’s ultimate task, and that one cannot measure oneself through comparison with others, but can only compare oneself to a desirable state, because it is only through a desirable comparison with oneself that one can improve oneself.
In response to this, several speakers questioned whether comparing yourself to your competitors can be called unfair. However, the old man said that the desire for recognition is wrong in that it becomes an end in itself and eliminates the opportunity to think about one’s own desirable state, because human beings are always inclined to be upwardly oriented. It is against their nature to eliminate the opportunity to think about their own desirable state because it is not upwardly oriented. It is also self-evident that for an individual who has reached the highest state, comparison with others becomes irrelevant, and even in this case, comparison with oneself is the only means of self-improvement; after all, even if one can get past the process of comparison with others in the beginning, ultimately comparison with oneself will constitute the more desirable higher value. The author’s argument remains convincing.

The final principle: live in the moment – kinesis and energia

The last thing emphasized in the book is to enjoy every moment of life. According to the old man’s interpretation, if life up to this point has been a line drawn to some purpose (kinesis), then the way forward is to value every moment of life (energia). This way, his life will have meaning, even if some of his life’s intentions have not been realized. It can also be a kind of turning point for those who have been blindly following life as a cause or the attainment of some noble value, to enjoy the process.
On the other hand, the old man says that the aesthetics of the process, which focuses on living in the moment, can make one think that life is, in a sense, meaningless. This is true in the sense that being present in the moment is possible even without any purpose or direction, but it is followed by the suggestion that we should not lose sight of the sense of contribution that gives us direction, like the North Star, which again emphasizes Adler’s core value of contribution. This was easy for me to accept because of its consistency.
Personally, I think the candlelight vigils that have been going on for the past few months can also be seen in this context. Even though there is no final conclusion yet, and even though the vigils have been seemingly ineffective in the last few weeks, I’m starting to see people enjoying the process of being part of it. The fact that it’s not just a series of meaningless moments, but is driven by the idea of leaving a more desirable environment for future generations, is something that resonates with me, especially as it parallels the sense of contribution.

Closing thoughts

We are always so obsessed with finding the cause of any problem that we neglect to discuss future solutions to a given situation. This wastefulness often leaves us exhausted before we can even think of a solution, which is why Adler’s philosophy from over 100 years ago is so relevant today, when we are more confused than ever. We must first accept how far we fall short of the desirable state for every problem. We must also refrain from consuming evaluations that go beyond our own spheres, isolate tasks, and improve upward with a justified sense of inferiority based solely on comparisons with ourselves. The process of arriving at solutions that ultimately realize social good is certainly instructive.