How do we live a life without regrets, as seen through The Death of Ivan Ilyich and Other Stories?

This article examines the meaning of death and life through the life of Ivan Ilyich. Through the regrets and unhappiness the protagonist felt at the end of his life, it emphasizes the importance of finding meaning in our lives every day, and the need to pursue true happiness, not just success or external gratification.

 

We all have many regrets in our lives. “I wish I had studied harder for my exams…….” or “I wish I had been nicer to my parents…….”. There’s a fundamental difference between these two types of regret. You can always study for the test again, but you can’t do better for your parents once they’re gone. These regrets aren’t just passing thoughts; they make us reflect on our actions and choices and realize what we should prioritize in our lives going forward. People often learn from these regrets what is important to them and how to value it.
However, contrary to this idea, after the death of another person, including our parents, we gradually forget about the deceased over time, meaning that the grieving process can take up to several years. In some extreme cases, such as Ivan Ilyich’s, he was even abandoned by his family as he approached death. However, as with Ivan Ilyich, we are often more numb to our own deaths than to the deaths of others. No one acts as if they could die tomorrow. We usually see death as something far away, and instead of focusing on living in the present, we often live in the vague expectation that there will be better opportunities later. But as the story of Ivan Ilyich shows, death can come when you least expect it, and if you haven’t found meaning in your life in the moment, you’re likely to die with deep regret.
Ivan Ilyich spent his younger years feeling unapologetically “happy”. However, as he became ill, he had many regrets about his life. He was tormented by the thought that his life had no meaning. Does Ivan Ilyich’s regret stem from the fact that he lived wrongly? Should we always be conscious of death so that we don’t have regrets at the end of our lives? Life is not just a cycle of regrets and regrets, but also a process of growth and learning. If you feel unhappy at the end of your life, is your life a failure? Reading this novel made me think a lot about these issues.
Ivan Ilyich’s neighbors would tell you that he lived a very happy life until he fell ill. Socially, he had a successful career as a lawyer and, at least on the surface, a harmonious family, living a life that was the envy of everyone. Many people wanted to emulate his success and viewed his life as idealized. But then he gets sick, and his life changes forever. At first, he begins to feel increasingly uncomfortable with the people around him. In the beginning, people’s interest was purely about his external success. Even family members were uncomfortable with Ivan Ilyich’s illness and were completely indifferent to his suffering. It’s bittersweet to see the people who were supposedly closest to him at the funeral quickly leave and go play cards. The story ends The Death of Ivan Ilyich and Other Stories in an emotionless and unemotional way.
The characters in this novel, including Ivan Ilyich, are all hypocritical and indifferent to others to a degree that feels a bit exaggerated. The author probably used this exaggerated characterization to effectively convey the idea that humans are fundamentally lonely beings. As Ivan Ilyich becomes ill and helpless, he misunderstands the behavior of those around him and dies thinking that no one understands him. The reason Ivan Ilyich feels unhappy as he dies is that he feels his life has no meaning. Meaning, however, is not a concrete entity; it is something that motivates all human behavior, but it is a highly subjective experience. Some people devote their lives to academics, while others find meaning in art or religion. The point here is that wherever you find meaning in life, it’s something you have to find for yourself. Of course, where and how you find it is entirely up to you. It is important not to reflect on your life only at the end of it, as Ivan Ilyich did, but to constantly search for meaning and refine it throughout your life, because life always takes unexpected turns. From this point of view, we can say that Ivan Ilyich lived a very unhappy life. This is because he never once sought the meaning of life for himself. The sentences that describe him in this novel show that he is full of vanity. This is especially evident in his reasons for marrying his spouse. He married his wife because, in the novel’s words, it satisfied his ego to have a woman who was “pretty good,” and it also made him feel like he was doing what people in high places said was right.
Fortunately, Ivan Ilyich’s suffering is finally put to rest when he reconciles with his family shortly before his death. But unlike a novel where everything fits together, life doesn’t always move towards a single theme. Life is much more complicated than a novel, and it doesn’t always happen for a reason. For example, novels have a plot that moves from beginning to end based on the level of conflict. This is a device that allows the author to effectively convey the message he or she is trying to convey. However, real life naturally doesn’t follow this structure. The dramatic scenes depicted in novels are often exaggerated, and in reality, there is a lot of mundane life in between the scenes. It’s not just the dramatic moments that matter in life, it’s the little things in between that make life truly meaningful.
It’s a cliché, but I personally believe that the meaning of life lies in these ordinary moments. Furthermore, I think that if you faithfully practice the meaning of life you have found in your daily life, there is nothing wrong with not being conscious of death at all. This is not to say that you shouldn’t think about death. But since we don’t know anything about death unless we are deeply religious, thinking about death is paradoxically a reflection on life. This reflection can be helpful for those who are wandering around without finding the meaning of life, but if you become too obsessed with it, it can make your short life unhappy. After all, we all die. We can only live a happy life if we fulfill the meaning of life that we have found in our finite lives. In the end, the meaning of life is what we make of the path we choose, and it can only be truly meaningful when it is justified by our own standards, not those of others.