Why are we so unable to be generous to others, even when we are financially well-off?

This article compares the laid-back life I discovered while traveling in Brazil with the hectic daily life of people in Korea, and explores the historical and cultural differences that explain why our society is not relaxed, and suggests ways to create a society that is generous and kind to others.

 

Do you know the country of Brazil? When you think of Brazil, you probably think of soccer, samba festivals, and the Amazon. Of course, these images are inextricably linked to Brazil. However, what impressed me the most about my trip to Brazil was not soccer, samba, or the Amazon, but their “laid-back” attitude.
Due to the fact that Korea and Brazil are on opposite sides of the world, and there hasn’t been much interaction, it’s rare for people to travel to Brazil from Korea. For me, it wasn’t a trip I had planned, but rather a spur-of-the-moment decision made by a high school classmate. As such, I didn’t do enough research beforehand. After a long flight of nearly 24 hours, I landed in Brazil, an unfamiliar country where no one spoke English.
My first culture shock came when I asked a local for directions. Speaking “Brazilian” Portuguese, which is not even the Portuguese spoken in Portugal, we could only stammer over our travel brochures, but he was so kind to a yellow-skinned foreigner who didn’t speak English. When he couldn’t understand our words, he used body language, and when that didn’t work, he took it upon himself to guide us. With maps in hand, they spent two or three hours showing us around their city. They gave us so much useful information for travelers, such as which car to take, how to get around cheaper, and famous food. We couldn’t help but feel embarrassed, grateful, and envious, as we were used to seeing them rush to run away when a foreigner spoke to them.
Their attitude is not limited to us as foreigners. The day we took a taxi to get to our destination, a car slammed into our cab, smashing the side mirror. We looked on, half expecting a fight to break out, half worried, only to see the taxi driver and the driver of the next car smiling and greeting each other. He then continued driving, smiling at us and telling us not to be alarmed. Was the resident who had given us such a long and friendly tour doing so because he had a lot of time on his hands? Was the taxi driver who was involved in the accident able to smile because the loss was a very small amount of money to him? I don’t think so, and I believe that the reason they were able to do what they did is because they have a “margin of appreciation” that we don’t have. This is not just based on the examples above, but on what I observed throughout my trip to Brazil as I experienced the lives of the people there.
During the Samba Festival, we met and befriended an English-speaking man at a restaurant and enjoyed the festival with him, but we found that most of the shops were closed except for a few that sold alcohol. To our common sense, it was quite curious that they were not open for business during the festival, as it is a great opportunity to make sales. He told us that Brazilians work the rest of the year to enjoy a few days of carnival once a year, and some even quit their jobs after only one year. It seemed to be very common sense to him. They don’t work to make money and live to make money; they work to have fun and live to have fun. That’s why they can laugh even if they are less financially secure than us, even if they are harmed by others, even if they spend a lot of time with strangers.

 

 

What about us? What do we live for, what do we work for? Even if we don’t compare ourselves to them, it’s obvious that there is a big difference in our mindset. We are always in a hurry, easily offended by small things, and strive to beat others and be more successful than others. Examples of this can be seen not only in the news, such as the excessive cost of private education and the corruption of politicians and businessmen, but also in our daily lives, such as stealing and indifference to others. This fierceness is the driving force behind Korea’s amazing economic development today, but it may have given us financial freedom, but it has taken away our peace of mind.
A relaxed life is a happy life. If you’re at peace with yourself, you’re probably satisfied with your current situation. It is a natural assumption that such a person will be happy. It’s a well-known story, but when happiness surveys are conducted in both developed and developing countries, people in the developed world consider themselves unhappy, while people in the impoverished country of Bangladesh consider themselves happy. Affluence doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness.
We have more money than Brazil. But we don’t have the same amount of freedom of mind that they do. Of course, some people may find happiness in the act of earning money and doing work, but even those people need to be able to afford to relax.
It’s natural that people who have a sense of peace of mind will be more generous and kind to others than those who don’t. Society is about living with others, and it’s never good to be selfish and indifferent to others.
Of course, there are many factors, and it is difficult to judge them, but the biggest reason I think is Korea’s history. Korea has been invaded by many neighboring countries in the past. In modern times, we were colonized by the Japanese, and the Korean War, which followed our liberation, completely destroyed our lives. Under these circumstances, we have achieved tremendous economic development in a short period of time by utilizing our national strength. However, this process was the result of a kind of compulsion to escape from a life of suffering and poverty. The adults of today, who had a difficult childhood, worked harder and harder because they remember those days. The fact that today’s young people, who grew up without scarcity, are more likely to want a leisurely and enjoyable life even if they are relatively poor, rather than a fierce life with abundant financial resources, can be a basis for this reason.
In Korea, a small country with limited resources, it is hard to expect a life like that of Brazilians. In order to live a comfortable life, you have to compete with others. But maybe that’s why we need more “mindfulness.” It’s up to our young people, who will lead Korea in the future. If we have a relaxed mind and aim for such a life, Korea could one day become a country with a relaxed mind like Brazil. A society that is economically prosperous but also relaxed. I pray that Korea will become such a society.
Also, we need to think about how to have a calm mind. For example, it can be helpful to reflect on yourself and reduce stress through spiritual practices such as meditation. Alternatively, spending time in nature is a great way to slow down the pace of life. It’s also important to find the small pleasures in life and make a habit of savoring them, as the Brazilians did. If we all make an effort to slow down a little, our entire society will be a warmer and happier place.