How did my childhood bullying experience affect who I am today?

This is a reflection on my experience of bullying in elementary school in Canada, the lessons I learned from it, and the changes in my friendships since then.

 

In the third grade of elementary school, I went to school in Canada for a year. My life in Korea had always been familiar and comfortable, so when I first heard that I was leaving for Canada, I was excited but also very worried. Would I be able to adapt well in a new environment? I don’t speak much English, will I be able to make friends? These questions kept running through my mind. In Korea, I never had to make new friends because I never moved, and I always had a lot of friends, so I never had the opportunity to make friends in a new environment. Therefore, I was very worried about whether I would be able to make new friends and do well in school.
However, after a few days, I was able to make a few friends, and I was able to follow the class because I could understand most of what the teacher was saying. On the first day of school, Angela, a girl from Taiwan who was sitting next to me, talked to me first and we became friends. She had lunch with me and introduced me to her friends. I was able to get along well with Angela, and I had a lot of fun at school. It was also interesting to learn about the differences between Canadian school culture and Korea. For example, I was impressed by the atmosphere where students freely express their opinions and discuss. In Korea, the teacher usually gives a one-sided lecture, so it was refreshing to see students actively participate in class.
Angela told me about her struggles when she first came to school. She came to Canada a semester before me, and she said that she didn’t speak a word of English and didn’t make any friends, so she was bullied for a semester, and then she became friends with me in the new school year. I was shocked by Angela’s story because I had no concept of bullying or harassment before.
Around that time, I had a new Taiwanese friend named Caroline. She didn’t speak a word of English either, so they had to communicate through Angela, who was also from Taiwan. For some reason, Angela took the initiative to start picking on her, and all the girls in the class joined in. I didn’t feel bad for Caroline, but I picked on her too. We ate lunch together without her and didn’t include her when we played at recess. We teased her with ridiculous tweets and called her stupid. Caroline didn’t speak English, so she couldn’t say a word back, and the best she could do was tell Angela not to do it in Chinese. As we continued to pick on Caroline, one day she hid her clothes in gym class. The teacher found her clothes in the locker room and scolded us, saying, “There are less than 10 girls in the class, so why are you picking on your friend because she doesn’t speak English?” But we didn’t think twice, and the bullying continued. A few months later, when Caroline was able to communicate in English, the bullying naturally stopped.
Looking back, I realize how childish it was for Angela and the other girls in her class to bully Caroline, and how immature I was for joining in. I was worried about making new friends when I first started elementary school in Canada and didn’t speak much English, and Angela had also been bullied for not speaking English, so we picked on Caroline. We shouldn’t have done that because we could understand her feelings better than anyone else, and we were in the same position just a semester or two before. If I met Caroline again, I would apologize to her for what happened. It’s definitely wrong to bully a classmate for not being able to communicate. Today, I would try to help my classmate who doesn’t speak English.
I don’t know how young girls could do that to their friends, but I can understand it. I think bullies do it to avoid being in the position of being bullied themselves by putting themselves in the position of bullying others, and I think people who have been bullied tend to want to get back at others. So Angela was trying to get back at Caroline for the bullying she had been subjected to because she didn’t speak English, and I was doing those bad things to avoid being bullied myself by joining in on the bullying. I think I was very shocked to hear Angela’s story of being bullied and thought, “I could have been bullied too,” and I think I was also worried that if I played with her alone when everyone in the class was bullying one child, I would be bullied along with them. Girls at that age are very prone to picking sides, and I think it takes a long time to reverse a bullying atmosphere once it starts.
Luckily, Caroline was able to get along with her friends after a few months, but I feel really bad for the emotional pain she must have been going through. After that, she never took the initiative to pick on her classmates or join in the bullying. I think it’s because even at 10 years old, I thought it was wrong to bully her, and seeing her struggle made me realize that bullying is bad. In hindsight, it was a really embarrassing behavior and something I would never do now, but I think that one experience taught me a lot about friendships, and it helped me get along with my friends later on.
There are very few people who haven’t been bullied or bullied others in their childhood. While some experiences are just that, I’m glad that I was able to be honest about my embarrassing past experiences in my essay, that I learned from them and got along with my friends today, and that I used my past experiences as a springboard for improvement.